One constant in a world full of variables.

Finally finished trials today..it feels different to what i expected, not as grand as i thought it'd be. L told me its just cos i have noone to celebrate it with lol. maybe. i feel like im missing something..but i cant figure out what exactli. trials were..harder than i expected..hopefulli i did okay in them..=/ i shall wait and find out. but in the mean time, gud luck to all the economics people who still have an exam tomoro =].

lol i just realised something..that i realli realli miss msn..a;sdlfjk

I had a dream two days ago, i dreamt that i was at dr du and that they gave me a sheet of paper, like the term reports we get, and on the piece of paper was whether you submitted homework each week and also the reason why you didnt (the ones we write on the hw slips). I remember reading the first two lines and it said homework: not submitted. reason: FACEBOOK. next to the first two weeks..lol, and i remember feeling freaked out at how they knew..and that thought woke me up.

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Lifes so full of change, it gets a bit crazy sometimes. I guess what everyone needs is just something sane and constant to hold fast onto to get them through.

Thoughts are with you, one with family troubles (if thats the right words)..i hope you guys cope well..just remember yur not alone man, and that wont change.

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a;slkfj too much stuff on mi mind..maybe imma just improvise as i go..i cbf to plan anymore

There is something at work in my soul which I do not understand...

Things are picking up momentum as trials draw near for us from Caringbah...first exams are none other than ENGLISH..my worst subject. And both english exams being back to back (monday tuesday) means that not only must i memorise four essays and a creative piece (not to mention being able to adapt them), but that also leaves me around about zero time to study for both 4 AND 3 unit math exams (week one trials also). ARG A;SLDFJK.
English is getting to my head...

but anyways..i didnt go to school today, but went to the library instead..and the weird thing is that whenever i feel like going to the library, alice, gina and bevis are there also lol, it must be some kind of sensitivity from too much hanging out at the library together
it was..different to what i planned for..which was a whole day of studying lol, we ended up immersed in conversation instead, and that was realli fun..and something i hadnt done for a long time, it reminded me of lots of things i'd forgotten about since the hsc started, like the dreams of living a taiwanese/korean drama where the stars have all the time in the world to fall in love and where everything works out in the end (yes, i was KINDA into dramas for a short time XD [*embarassed*] and jay chou and fahrenheit and the like), so i guess the hsc realli was a massive reality check and kicked all that out..

lol i wonder if it'll all be worth it. no computer games, no driving, no girls, no sport, antisocial. BUT on the flip side, lots of gud things have happened too..lol, like valuing friendships a lot more in year 12 than you've ever done and stuff like that

how strange..everytime i post a blog, it still makes me feel..vulnerable =/ i guess sharing emotions is just not natural for me..
must be something to do with bein an ISTJ..lol

STUDY UP PEOPLES. 2 MONTHS LEFT OF HIGH SCHOOL. year 12s the year to chase your dreams..
and everything else can be made up for later. hopefulli..

What is the reason...when you really could have any man you want

was going to blog last night..but it got a bit late when i finished doing my essay and i posted this song instead..=D

so i've finally completed my share of assessments for this year today..yayy, so now its full steam ahead onto trials, graduation and then the hsc.. i dont know whether to feel happy, worried or sad =/

though it feels gud that assessments are done, the essay i produced today has to be the shiz-est essay i've ever written in my life..but by the look of it, not many people were very well prepared..so hopefulli its not too bad..=[

haha, its gud to know we're all in the same boat..zzz

confirmed that i cant talk properli today..blaming on hsc..
lol, actualli, come to think of it i think the onli place i go now that is outside of home and a tutoring centre is the library..but even thats rare now compared to before a;sldfkj ARG

note to self: make time for talking/hanging out with friends etc..things disappear if you dont pay attention..

i found out something lols today, that at harry's i've been sitting in front of a girl who went to my first primary school and was IN MY CLASS FOR YEARS..it took a minute for me to remember sitting next to her in year 2..lol, guess what..as always..it was my name that distinguished me a;sdlfjk

which reminds me of the day i got my name..i even had a say in the matter..but thats another story. not reali. cbf lol

time for dinner

UMAT tomoro.

so suddenly, umat is tomoro.. its hard to describe how i feel, though i guess you could say that its a mixture of fear and calm, the same calm that comes just before a storm..like dipping your toes in the water before jumping in

and it feels as though im staring into the face of what we've been going to school for all those years to prepare for.. so its finally come, and we've got one chance to make this good. I guess this is what it'd feel like just before my first HSC exam too.. knowing that the time for preparation is over, and all thats in my head right now is what i'll be taking with me tomoro..(plus pencil, rubber, id. and candidate ticket dont forget lol)

it feels good though, despite all the stress of exams and everything, this year was realli realli good, as we all close in on graduation, focussing on whats in front of us, sometimes we forget to look back and wonder at all the distance we've covered already since the start of the year. This year, i've certainly learnt more about myself then i've ever done, starting with this blog that i made last holidays, i got to know people i hadnt talked to previously and finding that i could spend a whole day talking about nothing in particular (lol my english essay is still waiting to be done XD), and watching my friends grow (i wouldnt have been the same person without you guys)...and lots of other stuff

i reckon i'd miss school once its gone, but right now, im looking forward to graduation when all this will be done, and i guess what gives me the most motivation is knowing that after one more term of 'showing my mettle' (quote from Harry haha), we'd finally get a bit more freedom in life rather than being bound by school almost since we've been born..lol

but anyways, UMAT TOMORO ASD;FLKJ!

Sexy song.

I found a sexy korean rnb song by Rain on kevins ipod the other day..



i couldnt realli figure out wat was happening in the MV though..the first half was gud, and then it gets more and more confusing =/

FUK. 7 hours of math tutoring tomoro. a;sldkfj

all the way in burwood lol

Kogarah library was interesting today, though i couldnt stay for lock-in..but the furniture was pretty sexy, especially couch we sat on XD
and the internet was much better than at hurstville library..maybe imma go there more often =D

but anyways..<3s that song..even though i dont know wat the MVs about..something about it is attractive

and ha ji won is cute