Been a long time.

its been almost two weeks since i last blogged, nd a lot has happened since then..like getting my atar, rsa and rcg. haha..hopefulli all these abbreviated qualifications can score me a job soon..one in which i can earn more than just lunch money.

this year i spent christmas eve and christmas day at port stephens with mine and kevin's family (i see a trend here)..it was gud because it was a change of surroundings, nd mi mum nd grandma realli needed that so imma glad that kevin's family invited us to come. it was a lazy three days there, getting up late nd spending most of the day lookin for stuff to do. we stayed at a resort/spa kind of hotel that faced the sea, so the air always smelled salty, nd we ate at dodgey restaurants at the city centre lol..but the beaches nd everything were realli pretty,though mi mind always seemed to wander back to sydney..but i had to make do with a phonecall..after which i got raged the crap out of me for not telling mi mum where i went because it was midnight <3. =p. we spent most of christmas day on the beach at anna bay, stepping in the water nd talking, nd then driving back home for three nd a half hours.

'christmas @ wongs' ended up bein done on boxing day so that everyone could come. although there were onli 4 attending guests on facebook, it turned out to be pretty big. it was nice to see everyone together..nd two bestfriends sort of reunite. =p. nd it was realli fun too..but not in the same way as the christmas party we had in year 10.

right now it looks like i wont be allowed out until after the med interview..as;dlfkj..but imma definitely come out on nye, cos 10 days is just too long to wait..nd nsw open day should be a gud enough excuse too =p. dam. if onli i had a car..then i could just leave in the middle of the night..iwiwetsy..=/

ARG. should be preparing for interview..but cbb..even though it will probabli be one of the most important 30 minutes of mi life..=/..imma continue preparing soon, but not tonight..hearing my grandma snoring in the next room makes me sleepi..so imma do it tomoro.

Lead up to results.

Wow..so much to blog about today..i think i'll just jump straight into it lol. woke up late today. i made it just on time for mi driving lesson..which was pretty fun today because we drove on lots of different types of roads since i learnt how to use traffic lights properli last lesson. mi car control is improving quickli..but because of that, i'm getting lazier when scanning the road and getting bored driving slowli haha, so thankfulli i have an instructor to keep me in line. kevin says im a bit too obsessed with driving..lol i guess i am..but its just that sittin behind the wheel of a car makes me feel so free..like i can go anywhere at anytime

I stayed out a while to eat lunch at Mr. Teppan which reopened after renovation. if you order a fried rice or noodles, they ask you if you wanted it on a plate or those little cardboard take away boxes that chris tucker eats from in the rush hour movies..except i ordered something else =/. shall get it next time LOL. just for the box. no comment about the food though.

Brendon's aunt called me today nd set a time and day for me to tutor her son who was sitting the selective test next year. when i thought about revisiting year 5 maths, i was hit with a massive amount of distance..it reminded me of primary school..nd struggling with percentages and negative numbers XD. but at the same time it reminded me of how fast life passes..i think, from now..imma just do wateva, nd not think about things too much before i do it. otherwise the chance might just pass..nd you'd never know wat couldv been..as;lkdfj

Nathan picked me up at the station and drove to sizzler's for our pre-'result getting' dinner. nd though there were onli 9 of us..nd all from caringbah (except andrew wong)..it actualli felt kind of nice because you could just see that everybody was soo..themself, since we knew each other so well, and nobody was worryin about impressing anyone or anything. nd not wanting everything to end so quickli, we drove to wong's house to play poker/guitar hero nd look at the water nd stuff. wong's dad was heaps nice and gave us all this food, nd made us green tea nd everything lol. nd LOL. brendon walked into a GLASS DOOR. then ran to the couch nd buried his face in a cushion. AHAHAHAHA.

So right now..its around 6 hours until our results come out..the result of 13 years of schooling. soz guys, hope i didnt make you guys even more nervous =p. im kind of excited..kind of scared..nd also kind of tired =/. needa go sleep right now..tomorow imma have to be in the city by 9am for a full day rsa course..nd then again the next day for the rcg course..als;dkfj..wont be getting enough sleep..ARG. HELP ME. bye lol.

Partyin till the AM

Today seemed like a realli long day..but i guess thats because saturdays and sundays are usualli separated by sleep haha. I have to admit that I had doubts about yesterday, firstly because there were no trains due to track work, and secondly because i was told that wong (being under 18) was organising clubbing because 'his guy knows a guy..', but it actualli turned out to be reealli fun =). I took a bus with gina, fionna (with the double n), brendon, jason and wong at around 6 to central and walked to Olivo's at harbourside where fionna's friend crystal was having her birthday dinner. It was kinda strange sitting with a bunch of random year 11 girls at first, especially because we weren't even friends with the birthday girl, but the girl who sat in front of me was realli easy to talk to. but thats probli because everything we do is so..woAH asd;lfkj for her because shes under 18 and onli just started her hsc. We felt old while legally sipping our glasses of beer, but it was kind of embarassing because i felt flushed after drinking onli about a quarter of the glass X(. O yer, and my friend from my first primary school was there too..which supports my theory that all asians in nsw are connected in some way. We left first and went to blackbird cafe and bought the girliest drink i have ever seen..an oreo crunch. but it tasted nice. =). and made mi face look like a tomato. By the time we got to Verandah it was about 10 i think, and we lined up with bevis with his '四大美人' he told us about over the phone. When we got in it was still kind of empty because it onli just opened so we sat at joanna's table and had shots, which was different from last time. nd its exactli how you imagine it, as soon as you swallow the shot, your whole stomach just feels realli warm. when the club filled up a bit more, we started dancing..nd i cant realli describe everything properli, but it felt realli out of the world cos it was all dark and the floor was shaking from the bass. we stayed until closing time..which for a club is 4am. our legs were pretty much dead by the time we walked all the way back to town hall to catch the nightride. the nightride was insane, it was one bus and they fit so many people that you would have to climb over seats to get out in the first few stops. luckily i got a seat, but i sat next to this dude who every time he fell asleep while resting his chin on his palm, his arm would slip and he would jerk awake. but as soon as he jerked (violently i might add) back into the right position he fell asleep again. STRAIGHT AWAY. and it just repeated every 2 seconds. so it just looked like he was doing some crazy dance, shaking his head around. it wouldv been hilarious, but if yur on the nightride yur probli too tired to lol. i snuck in the door at 5am and luckily i didnt wake anybody. when mi mum came in in the morning and asked wat time i came home i told her 3 =p. so hopefulli she never reads this. i didnt get to sleep because i thought i had to prepare notes for chem tutoring..but it turned out mi student had work today and couldnt come. so i finalli got some sleep at 5 in the afternoon and woke up again to eat dinner/type this blog/close msn which i left on.

ASD;FLJKK need sleep. will add pictures tomoro..i mean today.

Best song since..a very long time

Couldnt stand the stillness of home today..so i went to kevin's house just to chill

Found this song..its so gud. But as always, its kinda emo..XD

Bring back the days of 'Getaway Car' nd 'Gotta Love Me'

Update

Its been almost two weeks, but its never too late to blog haha. So around 13 days or so ago (23rd) it was darren chan's birthday combined with darren wong, and in the morning we met at hurstville station and rode for about an hour in four cars taking 20 of us down to rouse(?) hill for paintball. It was..interesting, watching Bevis's massive merc battle it out with ronald's baby car down a straight stretch =p. Hahaha. All i can say about paintball is that its painful as hell and they taste like crap. Being a cheapass I stuck with the standard gun which are apparently accurate for around 20 metres. A few went and upgraded to ones that are accurate for over 60 metres and fired like TWENTY BALLS a fuking second D=. But the worst part is, all the people who got that upgrade was on the other team =[, so we pretty much just lost most games. In memory of that day, I still have a bruise on my arm thats not quite disappeared yet. O yer, and wearing a cup was the most uncomfortable feeling ever. After that, we met back at hurstville to take a train to city for dinner. Since Hurricanes was full, we went to "Criniti's", which was where we ordered two one metre long pizzas..but they gave us three..LOL, thats pretty badass. We finished about 2 of the pizzas between 7 people, and afterwards, the sight of pizza made me feel like vomiting.. It was realli fun, just because it was with lots of friends in darling harbour..and also because wong nearli fell into the water =p. and llama adrien almost kicked wong's bag into the water =p.

Our awesome pizza
Struggling to standWong's..brush with fate.

A few days after this, being a bit bored, i went to the city by myself but met up with brendon randomli who'd gone to see a movie. Being still kinda bored, we went to korean K with emily, sooey, ollie and two other girls from their school who i cant remember the names of =/ (bevis will forever call me a pimp), and andrew wong turned up randomli a bit later. I dug up whats left of my year 10 fobbiness and sang half of "Cling" by FT Island with emily..and that was all i could sing..i am so pro. =p. It was kind of late after that, so i just went home..and brendon went to the casino..and lost his money. I think..imma write about korean bbq tonight haha..time to go job hunting =/.

O yer. and this is adrein being adrieny.

Keeping Blogging Alive

I know this might sound kind of dumb..but i've stared at an empty blog entry for about half an hour now, not knowing how to start..so i guess this'll have to do for an opening haha. I wonder if anybody else has the same problem or if its just me, but it takes like 2 hours to write each of these blog entries lol. its just so hard to write down what i think and feel. just looking through a blogroll i noticed that onli a few were guys' blogs, and most of them had their last post a month or more ago, so i guess its just not a guy thing. so if its such a chore..i wonder why i still do it? i duno..actualli, i wonder why other people keep their blogs? i think for me, the reason is that reading my own posts reminds me of what i'm realli like when noone is around to influence the way i act and speak and stuff..kind of like the way you talk, laying in the dark just before you fall asleep at yur bestfriend's house. so i guess that in a way, its comforting to blog..haha.

ok, thats the end of the rant, i doubt anybody managed to stay awake reading that..lol
shall post something more interesting some time..dont hold yur breath

4000 Miles Away

Had a busy day today..and among all things, i went to church..and just as i expected, it stayed exactli the same as the last time i had gone. The atmosphere was still very relaxed, and the people were still very nice..and morning tea consisted of orange cordial and square biscuits coated in sugar, just like before. It was a realli warm day today, though the sun was hidden by the clouds. Mi mind was turned off, but similar thoughts drifted in and out of mi mind. I wonder what the next month will hold..but i guess all i can do is wait and see haha.

I also realised that i was practicalli uncontactable all the time..whether i want to be or not. i found mi phone in mi mum's bag at around 6 in the evening and found that i missed a few calls..and now that mi phone is found, the battery is almost dead lol.

Today was kind of bad..more pointless arguments with mi mum, which kind of left me in an irritable mood, however, something always cleared mi mind.

I think i'll start carrying my camera out more, just so that mi blog will be a bit more interesting, haha. paintball for the darrens' birthdays tomoro, dam. imma needa wake up earli..


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<3

Holidays

So far, this holiday has been..very eventful..some parts were realli gud, and some parts not so gud..so i guess when you put everything into a pot and give it a gud mix, what comes out is just "eventful".

It sounds a bit strange at first when i say that i onli realli felt my age 10 days after my 18th birthday, but that's because that was the day we held our (fionna, bevis and mine) "celebration"..and it was a day i considered more special than my birthday.. The event was dinner at Blackbird cafe at cockle bay wharf with about 70 people and a 900 dollar bar tab..after hours of organising (especially for fionna), everything turned out well and i thought it was realli fun, just for description's sake it felt kind of like having dinner at a club and everybody just drank, ate dinner, had a chat and listened to music. Bevis drank until he could no longer hear what you said to him and began responding to everything with "im alright guys, i'm alright" hahaha. After sending Bevis home, some of us went to a club while some others went to darling harbour to play pool. Having stayed out too late, we took a taxi to hurstville and i brought kevin, darren and wong back to mi house where they could get some sleep. i think 'memorable' would be the best way to describe that day..it was the day i bought my first drink, and went to mi first club..it was the first time i'd been drunk, and had to sit outside to recover..it was the first time i'd been to sculpture by the sea, and to saturday glebe markets..and a death/heavy metal shop. Sometimes i wonder if there'd be a chance that i could do it all again..but i guess it'd never be the same

The next big event for me was our year 12 formal in the ballroom at the grace hotel in town hall. Darren and Kevin came to mi house where we got ready beforehand, tools included a hairstraightener and a half a kilo can of hairspray. Despite the not so gud DJ and the lack of dessert (and those rocket leaves)..i know it's a night i'd have a nostalgic moment about..i guess something about night time and friends in suits and dresses made it seem a bit like a dream. And with the exception of a glass slipper, it kind of reminded me of cinderella, everything finishing at midnight and all. After coming back upstairs for the last song of the night, we went into the hotel room and sipped shots and ate mcnuggets. After stepping out and napping at a net cafe while kevin, darren and wong played dota then having breakfast at pancakes and laughing at books in a bookstore, i went home to sleep for the rest of the day (having onli had one hour of sleep that night).

It feels kind of weird actualli, now that formal is over..it kind of reminds me of graduation day, knowing that there were people there with me that night that i may never see again..or at least not in the same way..so i guess its 'new chapter' all over again

No Direction

It feels like i've lost direction. Days drag by slowly, filled with unsubstantial activities that were determined the night before. Plans are made, and then compromised. My mind grows tired when surrounded by uncertainty..the fact that it's past 2am may also have some contribution. So in order to regain some purpose in my "post-hsc" life, this post will just be a mind dump in hope that if i can see my thoughts physically on an internet page, i might be able to arrange them into some kind of plan. Here goes.

-write a resume (which means looking for example resumes and digging up past info =/)
-find a job..asd;lfjk
-learn to drive..(115 hours to go =__=)
-prep. lesson notes for chem
-buy bday presents (3 - jdd)
-excercise
-watch news (so as to not live under a rock)
-blog more (left the most difficult to last..)

so i've finalli gotten around to making that list..its not as long as it was when i first started this entry, though thats because all the planned events have since passed, like Blackbird and Formal (though i think i'll talk about those in a separate entry). Just for record's sake, today is the 20th Nov, and it is 11:17 pm.

New Chapter

It was the weirdest feeling, filling in my birth date on the front of the physics examination booklet as todays date, my last exam. Its such a strage coincidence that almost every single birthday wish i received made reference to it O__.

Thinking back to regular school days, i was hit with a massive amount of distance, here i am, living the moment that i thought would never come..the other side of the hsc. On one hand, i feel a little hesitant, suddenli being able to do anything i want to do, and on the other hand it feels exciting that i can finalli chase everything i've wanted to chase.

I havent taken advantage of my coming of age yet, that is, other than taking a few sips of XO which my dad diluted with coke incase it was too strong =p

The thought of receiving results still strikes fear in my heart though thats been pushed to the back of mi mind, and i still feel the feetprint of guilt as I procrastinated in the enormous amount of free time i sudenli had. Haha, old habits die hard.

Have to cut this short cos i need to sleep, still have to sign out of school tomoro..

Gud luck to everyone who still has exams to do =]

i think i will play basketball tomoro.

Mid Exam Thoughts

Just getting this down so that i can remember what this feels like, once it's all over.. :

Its been a lot more relaxed than i thought it'd be, in fact it feels almost exactli the same as trials, except there are more free days between exams. So far, i've had to go to school about twice a week, for 3 - 4 hours at a time.

I have no idea how i'm going in any subject..other than extension 2 maths which i screwed up.

The onli stress comes from regret of not preparing enough (especially for extension 2 maths), manifesting in the shit feeling you get coming out of the asbestos filled hall knowing you've left out more than a quarter of the exam.

Though the onli way to make up for a bad exam is with the exams to come.

Confidence in what you do, which naturalli improves speed is important in maths as i've noticed a little too last minute-ly..i just wish i'd known that before extension 2 =/
Feeling awake is also important..drinking cold orange juice was better for this than warm coffee which put me to sleep..a shower helps too, and 25 pushups gets blood flowing into yur head..
haha, this is more for the benefit of mi sister when its her turn

Been eating two sausage and egg mcmuffin meals a day for breakfast =p

I feel..excitement on exam mornings, like opening a present not knowing whats in the box..calm when the question was within my preparation..panic when its not..brain feels heavier and heavier throughout the exam.
I feel numb afterwards..knowing all thats left to do is wait for the result.

Tilting my head to one side made me dizzy as I was regurgitating my memorised essay, so did forgetting to breathe, but tilting my head back to the other side quickli relieved this.

All nighters are a bad idea.

Though all emotions are switched off, sometimes i still feel a yearning to be outside, especially when i see mobile uploads on facebook of friends having fun..in this case i'd just walk out to dougie's and have a fillets plate with taboulli and chilli, and then take a stroll through westfield, then a lap around the milk and meat fridges at coles to wake me up.

I feel apathy in the day, regret at night for not using the day to the full. I feel pressure from expectation.

Though they say HSC is not the "be all end all", it is appreciably more stressful for people who have a dream, especialli one who's cut-off seems just byond yur abillity.

Spring is must be the "season of love", and the library is full of boys who are there to get their "study" done, the "quiet" room had become something like a party.

Less than one week from now, it will be over, and that feels exciting. Just have to study for physics and chemistry now.

And that is my HSC.

So it's finally here.

Good luck guys,

Here..we..go.

One more time.

Its 10 days until my first HSC exam, the exam that seemed so far away for such a long time is suddenly only a little more than a week away. I dont think anybody can ever feel fulli prepared for it, and i say this because i feel the regret of not starting to prepare earlier..

Its realli weird how the hsc has made me feel, and this sounds just a bit cliched but it realli emphasises the pace of life, everything seems to move so fast right now, its like im watching my own life pass by..and theres no second chance. When i reflect over the past week, i've realised that i havent realli done very much study..but oh wells, better late than never right? Haha..>=/

On the other hand though, days seem to pass by so slowly when you think about people whom you havent seen for a while, and all the things that happen that you no longer keep track of, it kinda makes me feel dettached..

I guess all that could be made up for later..hopefulli things dont change too much, which reminds me of what we were talking about at fionna's house on friday, and it was that it would be great if everybody stayed friends even through uni..lol every time i blog, i feel like im just repeating past posts..as;ldkfj

Oh yer, i've been watching 'boys over flowers' for the past two weeks (bad timing i know lol), but despite the bad acting the story is kind of interesting, like a cheap drug..and the songs are gud too, one in particular, though i onli understand one line of it =p
but whenever i listen to this song i feel nostalgic, and the past year plays through mi mind..



One more time.

Duststorm.

Umat results were released today..and they were somewhat disappointing..=/ the first thought that entered my head was how ridiculous it was that this one test was worth as much as yur entire hsc..and that a difference of just two points could mean the difference between getting an interview and not. Oh wells..i guess fairs fair as thats how it is for everybody lol.. but it means that i need an atar of 99 to get an interview..as;dklfj
I talked to K on the phone today to see how he went, and found that he'd lost motivation for med..it felt realli weird to hear it cos we've been chasing this since year 11..but i guess the gud thing about being young is that we have so much opportunity =] ..you've got my support bro, kick some commerce ass!!!

Haha, guess what? after all this time the first thing i blog about is school again..i think i should change the topic before you all fall asleep..

Waking up this morning to find that the sky had turned orange, i thought i was still in a dream..lol until somebody informed me that i wasn't and that it was a dust storm. So, watching it for a while, i thought it was kind of pretty..until i walked outside. There was so much wind that even the birds couldnt fly properly lol, holding my fringe down i cannot help but lol as i could think of at least one other person who disliked the wind for this same reason.

(Duststorms..once in a blue moon..ahahaha i am so funny =D)

It feels kind of..retarded, knowing that school is about to end (haha, couldnt think of any other way to describe it)..the prospect of not being bound by a routine is kind of exciting, but at the same time its a little bit scary because we'll no longer have people to make our decisions for us, and because we'll lose what ties us most strongly to our friends. Taking the 'day off school' *ahem*, we went to the state library to do some work..it turned out to be more fun than i thought it'd be lol, with all the picture taking and everything with B's new camera. R brought us to a $14 japanese buffet where you have an hour to eat as much (pretty and..uh..tasty) food as you can, and after asianly eating our money's worth of prawns, we decided to eat ALL the jelly they had on the dessert table and build a tower with the packaging..quite innovative lol.

but ANYWAYS, hsc is so close ARG!!!! NEED TO STUDY. will blog again soon. i didnt say that. lol.

Sept 6.

So confused.

One constant in a world full of variables.

Finally finished trials today..it feels different to what i expected, not as grand as i thought it'd be. L told me its just cos i have noone to celebrate it with lol. maybe. i feel like im missing something..but i cant figure out what exactli. trials were..harder than i expected..hopefulli i did okay in them..=/ i shall wait and find out. but in the mean time, gud luck to all the economics people who still have an exam tomoro =].

lol i just realised something..that i realli realli miss msn..a;sdlfjk

I had a dream two days ago, i dreamt that i was at dr du and that they gave me a sheet of paper, like the term reports we get, and on the piece of paper was whether you submitted homework each week and also the reason why you didnt (the ones we write on the hw slips). I remember reading the first two lines and it said homework: not submitted. reason: FACEBOOK. next to the first two weeks..lol, and i remember feeling freaked out at how they knew..and that thought woke me up.

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Lifes so full of change, it gets a bit crazy sometimes. I guess what everyone needs is just something sane and constant to hold fast onto to get them through.

Thoughts are with you, one with family troubles (if thats the right words)..i hope you guys cope well..just remember yur not alone man, and that wont change.

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a;slkfj too much stuff on mi mind..maybe imma just improvise as i go..i cbf to plan anymore

There is something at work in my soul which I do not understand...

Things are picking up momentum as trials draw near for us from Caringbah...first exams are none other than ENGLISH..my worst subject. And both english exams being back to back (monday tuesday) means that not only must i memorise four essays and a creative piece (not to mention being able to adapt them), but that also leaves me around about zero time to study for both 4 AND 3 unit math exams (week one trials also). ARG A;SLDFJK.
English is getting to my head...

but anyways..i didnt go to school today, but went to the library instead..and the weird thing is that whenever i feel like going to the library, alice, gina and bevis are there also lol, it must be some kind of sensitivity from too much hanging out at the library together
it was..different to what i planned for..which was a whole day of studying lol, we ended up immersed in conversation instead, and that was realli fun..and something i hadnt done for a long time, it reminded me of lots of things i'd forgotten about since the hsc started, like the dreams of living a taiwanese/korean drama where the stars have all the time in the world to fall in love and where everything works out in the end (yes, i was KINDA into dramas for a short time XD [*embarassed*] and jay chou and fahrenheit and the like), so i guess the hsc realli was a massive reality check and kicked all that out..

lol i wonder if it'll all be worth it. no computer games, no driving, no girls, no sport, antisocial. BUT on the flip side, lots of gud things have happened too..lol, like valuing friendships a lot more in year 12 than you've ever done and stuff like that

how strange..everytime i post a blog, it still makes me feel..vulnerable =/ i guess sharing emotions is just not natural for me..
must be something to do with bein an ISTJ..lol

STUDY UP PEOPLES. 2 MONTHS LEFT OF HIGH SCHOOL. year 12s the year to chase your dreams..
and everything else can be made up for later. hopefulli..

What is the reason...when you really could have any man you want

was going to blog last night..but it got a bit late when i finished doing my essay and i posted this song instead..=D

so i've finally completed my share of assessments for this year today..yayy, so now its full steam ahead onto trials, graduation and then the hsc.. i dont know whether to feel happy, worried or sad =/

though it feels gud that assessments are done, the essay i produced today has to be the shiz-est essay i've ever written in my life..but by the look of it, not many people were very well prepared..so hopefulli its not too bad..=[

haha, its gud to know we're all in the same boat..zzz

confirmed that i cant talk properli today..blaming on hsc..
lol, actualli, come to think of it i think the onli place i go now that is outside of home and a tutoring centre is the library..but even thats rare now compared to before a;sldfkj ARG

note to self: make time for talking/hanging out with friends etc..things disappear if you dont pay attention..

i found out something lols today, that at harry's i've been sitting in front of a girl who went to my first primary school and was IN MY CLASS FOR YEARS..it took a minute for me to remember sitting next to her in year 2..lol, guess what..as always..it was my name that distinguished me a;sdlfjk

which reminds me of the day i got my name..i even had a say in the matter..but thats another story. not reali. cbf lol

time for dinner

UMAT tomoro.

so suddenly, umat is tomoro.. its hard to describe how i feel, though i guess you could say that its a mixture of fear and calm, the same calm that comes just before a storm..like dipping your toes in the water before jumping in

and it feels as though im staring into the face of what we've been going to school for all those years to prepare for.. so its finally come, and we've got one chance to make this good. I guess this is what it'd feel like just before my first HSC exam too.. knowing that the time for preparation is over, and all thats in my head right now is what i'll be taking with me tomoro..(plus pencil, rubber, id. and candidate ticket dont forget lol)

it feels good though, despite all the stress of exams and everything, this year was realli realli good, as we all close in on graduation, focussing on whats in front of us, sometimes we forget to look back and wonder at all the distance we've covered already since the start of the year. This year, i've certainly learnt more about myself then i've ever done, starting with this blog that i made last holidays, i got to know people i hadnt talked to previously and finding that i could spend a whole day talking about nothing in particular (lol my english essay is still waiting to be done XD), and watching my friends grow (i wouldnt have been the same person without you guys)...and lots of other stuff

i reckon i'd miss school once its gone, but right now, im looking forward to graduation when all this will be done, and i guess what gives me the most motivation is knowing that after one more term of 'showing my mettle' (quote from Harry haha), we'd finally get a bit more freedom in life rather than being bound by school almost since we've been born..lol

but anyways, UMAT TOMORO ASD;FLKJ!

Sexy song.

I found a sexy korean rnb song by Rain on kevins ipod the other day..



i couldnt realli figure out wat was happening in the MV though..the first half was gud, and then it gets more and more confusing =/

FUK. 7 hours of math tutoring tomoro. a;sldkfj

all the way in burwood lol

Kogarah library was interesting today, though i couldnt stay for lock-in..but the furniture was pretty sexy, especially couch we sat on XD
and the internet was much better than at hurstville library..maybe imma go there more often =D

but anyways..<3s that song..even though i dont know wat the MVs about..something about it is attractive

and ha ji won is cute

Random 8am

Sitting by myself downstairs at kevin's house..everybodys still asleep lol, it feels kinda peaceful with soft music in the background and all which is kinda weird when i think about all the work imma have to do for the next three days..but imma start that after this song..and blog entry =P

hopefulli i finish before anybody wakes up lol. blogging doesnt work unless yur by yurself..

but anyways, woaaa..third day of holidays already =/, though its been pretty fun already..lol theres something about night, and bein with people you want to be with..
but then the next thing you know yur in the school hall doing yur first trial exam a;lsdkfj

kevin's massive 'to do' list is sitting next to me..havent read it yet lol, hmm..i wonder if imma be doing anything this holidays..apart from studyin that is. FUK.

lol.

o wells..seriously cant wait until my birthday this year..LAST EXAM. yeh boy.

okies..time to work as;ldkj


oh yer..i forgot to bring a shaver or anything =__=

crap.

---------

<3..

Drown in RnB.

lolll..indulging in another angst-venting blog..

had time to reflect today..which is something i dont do very often.

I thought about lots of stuff i would have done differentli if i had the chance to..for example all the times that i've said something wrong or did something i wasnt supposed to, and all the times that i've pissed people off or seemed stubborn and self righteous...if i could do everything again, im sure i could have saved lots of people a lot of trouble, hostility and the like.. but now that everythings done, it cant be undone =/..so i guess, the onli thing i can change is wat i will do in the future..

lol, blah blah right? worlds not all about me haha. XD

but anyways..lol. got our math test back today =/ asian failed againnn

it feels nice..to just drown in rnb.

Colour Day

Today was colour day =D

now, for those who dont know wat that means, it was the day where we dress up in clothes of our year 7 class colours, and play games in the hall.

heres one picture thats been put on facebook..imma sure there be lots mroe though haha

YELLOW PRIDE. (go us!)

although we lost all the tug-o-wars =/..we won a sexy pencil for best costumes overall =D


nostalgia is so strange..if i was to describe as a mixture of emotion, i'd say it was a mixture of happiness and sadness..

but anyways..lol, look how big 7 yellow are now ;ASLDKFJ. all grown up >=D

Flashback.

Got my hands stuck in some teenage drama today. Not feeling gud. Got told that im arrogant, imposing and always told people what to do.

Im not writing this post to justify myself. People who realli know me can form their own opinion. The reason why im writin this is because i've learned something, as always after conflict. lol..for example, that i shouldnt push mi own opinions too far no matter how sure i am about them, so imma sorri about that..if those peopl are readin this...just know that i had gud intentions, yer..? And the other thing is that bros are a lot more loyal and forgiving than girls, who are temperamental and hold grudges for extended periods of time (at least, at our school).
hifive guys...<3

Another thing i was told was that i could not possibly be close to a friend because i've onli realli started talking to him a year and a half ago, and that when highschool finishes i would forget all about highschool friends.
I dont know about that..but what went through mi mind was that you sounded realli insecure, like yur always bracing for pain and ready incase yur friends leave you any second..its not true. or at least, i dont think so..
but anyways, you could decide that for yurself. if you ever even see this. lol.

So in echoing my now non existent post, i now remember why i left all the drama behind in the first place, its so childish. but hey, i learnt something right? lols.. i think i prefer being calm and slow..i mean..collected =P

Cute Song.

A song i got from sombedy last year, i dunno why i like it so much haha <3. its so cute. XD.
the mv cant be embedded so yer..lol.. but i dont like the mv much anyways..alicia keys wiggles too much
..yes imma aware that it is a chick song..and the writing is pink.. so no gay jokes =___=
theres lots of covers for this song for peopls who dont like pop lol

What I think about teenage relationships.

lol..i see so many people who are depressed about 'love' and all their relationship troubles..it all kinda reminds me of year 10, when most of our group all found 'love' at the same time, and people formed pairs, and sometimes threes and the whole thing caused a lot of emoness afterwards. lol. but thats not the point. the point is, that everyone learned a lot from that. or at least i did anyway. (+ it was realli fun) but anyway, heres wat we (after spending many saturdays with kevin in the library talking about life/girls and doing homework at the same time haha + listen to rnb...) learned from it.

that liking somebody wasnt as bad/detrimental as our asiany parents make it out to be, but its actualli realli fun and you find out a lot about yurself too..and its nice to know that somebody thinks yur awesome =D and hearts spending time with you.
but anyways, more to the point, teenage relationships come and go and there isnt onli one person yur 'destined' to be with. lol. theres loads. but they cant be found until you grow older.
so what is the point of teenage relationships you might say? maybe i should just wait? nah. lol. the point of them is that theyre fun and you find out a lot about yurself. FUN. so for all the emo people i know, dont fall in too deep with one girl or one guy and get too obsessed, eg. like someone for years and years and get depressed if they dont like you back. "if you put yur heart out to someone and they still dont like you, then theyre not worth it." <-- thats what my bestfriend said to me. lol. it was the most important thing i learned in year 10. not 3D trigonometry.

o yer, one more thing that i thought of in year 10. 'liking' someone isnt realli a feeling. more like a decision. like, you could be 'interested' in people and like talking to them, but once you decide that you 'like' someone you cant stop thinking about them/imagine a perfect life with them and then feel depressed that you cant have it, and life turns into a taiwanese drama...but there may or may not be a happi ending where the main characters realise they love each other =[.

lol, but anyways, that was all very long ago. imma pretty sure most of the group got over the 'cant live without you' stage. but yes, year 10 was realli fun. so was year 11. i dont even want to imagine not knowing all the people i met since coming to caringbah.. <3 (imma not gay btw guys.)

how did i start thinking of this? cos i was listening to music, and then some songs came up which reminded me of last year and the year before..lol, yes bits of memory gets trapped in songs.

and thats the end of my 'rant'. not about hsc surprisingly.

...=D

ps. i hope all the diehard 'love' fans dont start sending me hatemail.. =/

actuali.. imma not against it lol, if that wasnt clear. its the best thing ever...
sometimes it gets out of proportion though ..and comsumes yur whole world.

Thinking out loud.

got home from burwood harry tutoring about 2 hours ago...failed the quiz lol =[

i just read brendons blog lol...yur stressing about hsc too...=[ its k man, lol. same boat. hifive. haha.
i like the photos btw lol...forgot how fun it was before hsc..too bad we dont have many photos of our group though =[..we realli need a person who takes lots of photos in our group, i cant believe we dont have one! i'd do it, if i had a digital camera. lol. shutup.

but anyways, here are some side effects from the hsc that i've noticed:
- Conversation making is down the drain...cant look people in the eye and hold conversation at the same time. FUK.
- In more serious cases, a tendency to forget nouns...eg. "hey gina, thats a nice...wait..hoodie!" [dammit!]
-Uncontrolled hsc bloggage O__. and/or all i talk about is school
-Inabillity to feel emotions...sorri if i sound bored all the time guys =[ im not actuali lol
-Increased tardedness...and thinking slowly...and cant put a sentence together properli..and taking ages to blog

but anyways. on a completely different note. i noticed wong now reads my blogs too? lol yay. well i hope you find them interesting. haha. and ive noticed something weird...well not exactli. weirds not the right word, but anyways lol. i thought that by starting a blog, i could write down everything that happens to me...and exactli how i feel about different situations/people/stuff in general, and maybe find out something about myself in the process, and be able to judge my own personatlity from an outside point of view...but the more i write, the more i feel like i cant open up and just bleed everything onto the page cos..well, cos other people might read it.. O__. lol..
how...contradictory?
but it sounds like it happens for everyone though.. everyones blogs are so mysterious, and full of emotions and fun to read, lol. it always seems like people are so full of stuff they want to say, but cant..incase a particular person reads it and finds something out..

lol, but i guess..even though i cant actualli say much here...its still a gud way to think out loud, well..out..written. typed. wateva. and say lols stuff i might not say anywhere else.

for example, stuff like, wow, the sky is realli starry tonight, or some rant about something (probli hsc...lol).

ps. still no pictures..=/ i cant find any lol. we srsli need a photo taker. no srsli.

...someone PLEASE.

End of the world. Not really.

YES finally finished my physics homework.. at 2am lols..

this is going to be a boring entry btww.. haha..just felt like unloading all my teenage angstage in a blog entry.. so anyway, boring read lol.

but here goes.

feeling under prepared for exams..which are suddenly next week. trials and hsc exams are so close too, and whats even scarier is that the hours fly by so quickli.. got home from burwood at 8.30 today, and from then till now, all i've done is physics hw...which was supposed to take 20 minutes as;ldkfj ..X[
its not just today too, more like EVERy day..which makes me think that maybe getting into med is just a pie in the sky.. FUK. why dont i just study you might think? i duno..theres always so much. even after a solid day's worth of work, at the end you still realise theres a long way to go until imma gud enough.. how demoralising. then theres UMAT, suddenly thats only a little more than a month away, and i havent even started lookin at practice questions. ARGH. i look around and see so many people who deserve a fantastic uai because theyve put in so much work. but imma stil stuck in apathy. but i cant realli blame anything i guess..its all on me anyways. i just hope i dont disappoint..lol. dats it. have to tank this. >=/.

lol..i wonder wat i'd be like if mi mum made me read books or something instead of do maths wen i was little. then i wouldnt take so long to write blogs haha. english has gone down the drain this year. cant even speak properli anymore as;ldfkj like if i tried to speak too fast mi tongue gets caught and jibberish comes out.. =/, and turned completely antisocial too lol, soz guys.. since deleting msn and all. haha, used to be realli fun, talking for the whole night on msn XD. o wells. year 12 is kinda fun i have to admit. even though its all just been studyin. no girls. friends kinda distant. no going out too much. no internet practically. cant wait till formal..

post-hsc sounds so fun. too bad so many people are going overseas though. lol. hsc. cant wait.

bored? yah i know.. lol. and yes, the whole worlds not about me and hsc is not the end of the world. but kinda seems like it right now.

but anyways, lol. went to library today, with a tarded person, which reminded me of the holidays XD. too bad it was so full though.. had to sit on opposite sides of the room =/

miss days when it felt like there was all the time in the world to do random stuff..

haha, heres a lols conversation at math tutoring:
Harry: The chinese economy is developing at a breakneck speed.
Fionna: Wat!? we dont have a break next week!?

bahahaha =D

edit: sorri for lack of pictures btw. might start to include some lol

Midnight Blogging

Holi, havent blogged for such a long time..ish..well since last week. lol. haha

Exams are coming up again in about a week and a half. FUK. and we only just got our half yearly reports back

lolll, failed english.. =[

asian fail physics and maths =/

spent almost a whole week preparing a module B essay, hopefulli its not too bad..had to change it SOmuch

AS;LFJK the first time i handed it in to the teacher, her reaction was basically, '...dude, this is shiz.'

ANYWAYS. lol. enough about school O__. ?

transformers 2 coming out. have to see that. and angels and demons too..still havent got around to it lol. too much work ;asldkfj. have to kick certain peopls asses haha

o YER, long weekend this week. looking forward to it..though imma just go library or soemthing lol. do some maths...imean...be cool =D

lol..how cool am i? best way of spending a long weekend..

..XD

there was something else i wanted to say..but i cant remember it =/
lack of sleep probli haha

okies imma go sleep..holi, took 30 minutes to write that

Chinese Schooool year 10

havent had time to blog =/..

lollll.. found this video of year 10 chinese school that darren took



haha, yay for crew cuts

and watching chinese movies on the teacher's laptop rather than doing work =D

wishin i could freeze time..

You know what i cant believe? ..i cant believe that we're in year 12 already, haha ..and its definitely not what i'd imagined it to be like when i was in junior high

I used to think that people in year 12 spent their days faithfully preparing for their hsc, only coming out to eat or go to the bathroom, but thinkin back now.. that seems kinda tarded XD

i even remember asking ms brandt (our math teacher of 3 years) when we could drop maths as a subject LOL.. but now imma walking into period 0 [4u morning class] every monday and wednesday half asleep..haha..o yer..and science used to be my least favourite subject..even though i ended up doing the asian combo O__.

and who woulda thought that we'd end up with my old year 7 math teacher taking us for 4u math..and he remembered me too LOL..which was weird..but then again so is my name =[

but anyways, year 12 has probabli been the funnest year, even through the exam stress and stuff..
overcame a fear
learned a lot about everything
found out that darling harbours is a realli fun place to sit
had the most fun while talking..i mean..studyin with a fobby tard at the libraryyy
made a facebook and got addicted to it =D
quit facebook..=/
made a blog =D
deleted msn =/

but hsc is so close already, suddenly trials are onli 3 months away.. ;ASLDKFJ. FUK.
and just when theres so much i want to do..haha
and theres so much i want to say too..i guess imma have to wait..hopefulli

coolies..it just started raining <3

gina's birthday was realli funnn, haha,incase yur readin this, the glow stayed throughout the next day lollll

hsc. FUK.

last exam on mi birthday..yay?

Finally getting some work done.. lol.

Couldn't concentrate on work for the past few days.. no idea why.. =/
but i finally got some work done today =D

Hopefulli i can stay concentrated.. lol.

Takin a break to blog, which i havent done in a while

See all these sheets on my table? ..integration...still...
hopefulli imma finish it before the end of next week AS;LDKFJ.

nah actualli, i WILL finish >=/. FUK.

maybe. lol

..no, i will. srsli.

anyways, how sexy is my room? like.. extremely. lol.

why dont i turn on the ceiling lights even though its so dark? moods better. haha

and look, no facebook. just itunes and email =] no msn either.. how anti social =/ but thats a gud thing. i think. lol.

..nah actuali thats badass.

happy birthday to gina by the wayy... lookin forward to saturday =]

lots of people + boat + night time = <3

anyways. back to work. haha..

feels like somethings missing..

Just felt like writin..

Cant believe its back to school already.. =/ missin the holidays so much..

Class seems so boring for some reason, haha, but its not too bad yet
all we've done so far is go through half yearly exams.. asian failed most of them =[
everyones fightin so hard for rankings lol

kinda fell asleep during physics tutoring today, the tutor loled at me haha.. not tarded at all. feelin so cbb for tutoring =[ ..and almost every single day too

but anyways, enough about school? whoevers readin this is probli asleep hehe

found lots of gud songs that are like..<3
cant stop listening to the freshman haha
..and rule the world
how weird.. =/ neither are rnb

okies, cant think of anything else, so thats it. lol.

Blogging still feels weird =/

Bloggin is still realli weird.. i thought i'd have nothing to say, but then, here i am =/

Haha, i feel like imma one of those people who love to tell other people about their day whether they listened or not and never stop talking [haha, like a certain aunt of a certain bevis], and its realli hard to make this interesting.. so imma not try =D
I wonder how many people would find reading this enjoyable? lol

But anyways, wat interesting stuff has happened to me recently? like..not much
nah, actuali, this holidays was fun. lol. which is weird, because all i've done is go to library and study.. haha, have to do it if yur doing the asian combo.

oh, but there was medentry with Kevin, which was LOL, because when we were in the seminar, we were SO motivated to perfect UMAT, but i went home, fell asleep and the passion died. like straight away. =/

met a tard at the library...who liked to leave stuff behind...and has sexy hair XD

going out to city tomoro to watch a movie with kevin..and someone i dont know

had an extremely hot hotpot at brendons house, which was fun haha [thanks man], we shoulda organised it sooner though so we could ask more people..gud team in wii tennis btw LOl, we own, *hi 5*

and yay for getting our jerseys on wednesday too. hopefulli.
they make you feel old/motivated/cool/warm a the same time

ps. CANT WAIT until hsc finishes

pps. woah. and i thought i had nothing to say. haha i'd look at this and think wat da FUk, wat a jumbled person =/ but o wells. have fun looking into mi mind?

ppps. i like to talk in paragraphs. lol.. feelin tarded x/

first.

Went to Medentry workshop day 2 today, to prepare for UMAT.. =/

met lots of extremely smart people there who want to do med at uni too.. FUK. need to work harder this holidays..but the indian guy who ran the thingy was lols and taught us a lot, so its all guds =D

...+he liked to pay out lawyers (no offence to lawyers haha)

and he said that it would be a gud idea to remember all the funny things that happen to us in life.. but i kinda cbbed to write everything down, so heres a blog bahaha

first blog, and it feels like imma talking to myself =[ how sad

i wonder if imma read this a few years later and think wat da fUK? imma so immature XD

haha, well to my future self.. SUP. hows life?
and did you get into med?

(remember?: hard work for HSC, sleeping at 2am most nights =[, friends (sup. guys? XD), chasing dreams, year 10, having a best friend <3,basketball, harrys tutoring, drDU)